I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
