thus making me awesome and them whores
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
