Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
