guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I could fuck to npr.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
