If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
