reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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