we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
