My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
