you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
