Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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