Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize