Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
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