He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
it's not cheating when I paid for it
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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