If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
