Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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