Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
