i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
