If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize