Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
