She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
