So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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