Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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