i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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