I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm too high and old for this...
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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