He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
