ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
