bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
