party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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