sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
