even my farts smell like vagina
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize