I'm really into asian looking animals
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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