im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
