You're so nebulous sometimes
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
