My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
