is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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