Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize