exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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