I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
