He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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