hell yes lets make some ravioli
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
