Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
