oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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