We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
