its not stalking. its research.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
