i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
