I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
