Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
