Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
