If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
