Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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