Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
