windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
