It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
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