Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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