can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
