id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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