i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
