I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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