We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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