Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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