I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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