so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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