the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Fuck appropriateness.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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