oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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