I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Help. Why am I so naked?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize