You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
