worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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