question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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