You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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