i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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