We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
