Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
