She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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