It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
