Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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