Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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