it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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